


Quack

by Brony4Ever1992



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-10
Updated: 2012-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-30 22:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/336668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brony4Ever1992/pseuds/Brony4Ever1992
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first story originally published over a year ago. During a routine synch test Asuka challenges the competence of Dr. Akagi. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quack

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This my revived edition of my first ever fanfic so it hopefully doesn't suck as much now. My grammar might not be the best and "As you may presently yourself be aware, my grammar sucks."-Family Guy episode "E Peterbus Unum". Again this is my first story so remember that. Please review and if you don't like be constructive, now on with the story. I've come a long way since this.

Disclaimer: Evangelion and all media are the copyright of Gainax. I own nothing; I am just borrowing the characters for my story and make no financial gains off of this.

It was a quiet day in Tokyo-3, no angels just peace and quiet. "INCOMPETENT!" well so much for that.

The angry scream came from the Second child and pilot of EVA unit-02 Asuka Langley Soryu who was more angry than normal.

Why was Asuka pissed you may be asking? Well she just found out that after ten hours of synch test were her scores had gone up five point, an improvement from her normal sinking scores, that thanks to a simple computer error that the Head of Project E, Doctor Ritsuko Akagi had failed to notice these scores were not recorded so those last ten hours were all for nothing.

"You are the most pathetic excuse for a scientist I have ever seen!" continued the red head whose cursing which often switched to her native tongue of German blared through the monitor in Unit-02 (It was smart of Akagi to not let the girl out of her EVA before giving her the bad news) and through the Geofront, all throughout NERV and down to Lilith in Terminal Dogma.

"Asuka…" began NERV's head of operations and the angry girl's guardian Misato Katsuragi, who looked over to Shinji in Unit-01 as both knew he would suffer for the doctor's mistake, and tried to calm down the German to no avail.

"No Misato!" began said girl "That awful doctor, that dummkopf, screwed up my synch tests." she stated with venom before adding "Mein Gott! Did that hair dye poison your brain Akagi?"

"Doctor Akagi did her best, she couldn't have known…" began Shinji in the entry plug of Unit-01, only to be immediately cut off by the ranting girl.

"Shut up baka, no one cares what you think!" the girl began again continuing to insult Shinji in both Japanese and German.

Misato only sighed for once wishing Kaji was here not to sweep her away (Only in her dreams did Misato imagine that) but because only he could have calmed Asuka down right now.

"Listen Asuka, Doctor Akagi could never have pictured a problem with the MAGI." those words came from the station of one Lieutenant Maya Ibuki.

'Big surprise, Akagi's lesbian lover comes to her defense." Shot back the Second Child effectively silencing the Lieutenant who slumped into her seat wishing to vanish as the rest of NERV'S technicians except her friends Hyuga and Aoba snickered at Asuka's last statement.

"Listen Asuka, I am sorry, we will redo the tests tomorrow." said Akagi in a last ditch attempt to put an end Hurricane Asuka.

"Your pathetic! You have the intelligence of an amoeba!" retorted the German.

"Asuka, what do you want! I said we'll redo the damn tests!" yelled a frustrated Ritsuko before adding 'You're loving this one mom, aren't you?' under her breath

"You know what you are Akagi" came the reply from Unit-02 "A quack!"

"Damn it Soryu, there are some things I will take but nobody insults my abilities! I created EVAs, I run Project E, and hell I created Rei!" exclaimed the doctor before immediately realizing her mistake.

"You what?" asked Misato after hearing the "good" doctors statement. "Rits is there something you're not telling us?"

"I am just so flustered. I don't know what I'm saying." said Akagi with the whole bridge crew staring at her, laughing to hid the satisfaction when everyone bought her lie.

Meanwhile…

"That was too close, what do you think Ikari?" said Sub-Commander Kozo Fuyutusuki from the perch where he and Gendo watched things (the one above the bridge).

"Yes" replied NERV's Commander in his usual pose "Nothing must interfere with the scenario."

Back on the bridge nothing had improved as Asuka still continued using her new favorite word for Akagi.

"You are a grade-A quack because only a quack would have fire guns at the Angels when their AT fields render them useless!" stated the German which Shinji had to agree with.

Akagi tried to rebuttal but Asuka didn't stop. "Another thing, why do we need plug suits? Baka piloted Unit-01 in his school uniform his first time and hell we even piloted them naked. We only really need our nerve clips. I really think the plugs are just for your our pleasure. Into bondage, doc?" leaving Akagi to red faced to respond so Asuka went on.

"Your a Quack!" began the redhead "quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!" after which she stopped to catch her breath before continuing.

Before Asuka could continue another voice came across the channel"Pilot Soryu, what you are saying is illogical."

" This voice coming from Rei Ayanami.

"Why the hell is that, Wonder girl?" the redhead was seething, the First Child was the last person she wanted to hear from.

Rei, as calm and matter-of-fact as always responded "Doctor Akagi is not a duck."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Again, there was my first story. I hope you enjoyed, I did this to get my feet wet in writing and fixed it because it sucked before. Check out my other stories. Please review.


End file.
